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Pages: Love but hate his bad money choices [1]
Author Topic: Love but hate his bad money choices
bacigalupo

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2011-01-03 1-05-30-

Love but hate his bad money choices I have been with my partner for 7 years and I love them very much. We have lived with another the entire 7 years. We are now venturing out and purchasing a condo together. Their past bad spending and current bad financial choices are coming back to haunt them and me when going through the loan processes. I feel sick to my stomach on how they know that this careless behavior breaks my heart but they continues to do the same behaviors. Why would a person who loves you continue to do something they know hurts the other person so much??!! We have an offer on a property and I am have some serious doubts. I am a very practical and a very financially savvy individual who offers to help them manage his money with only "no" offered and the bad habits occurring over and over again. I never thought money would end this but it seems as though it may... Advice? Anyone experience something like this?? help.
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vanroekel

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2011-01-03 13-50-45

Had trouble reading it. Here let me help you I have been with my partner for 7 years and I love him very much. We have lived with another the entire 7 years. We are now venturing out and purchasing a condo together. His past bad spending and current bad financial choices are coming back to haunt him and me when going through the loan processes. I feel sick to my stomach on how he knows that this careless behavior breaks my heart but he continues to do the same behaviors. Why would a person who loves you continue to do something they know hurts the other person so much??!! We have an offer on a property and I am have some serious doubts. I am a very practical and a very financially savvy individual who offers to help him manage his money with only "no" offered and the bad habits occurring over and over again. I never thought money would end this but it seems as though it may... --- I assume it's a she talking about a he based on "...manage his money..."
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  • Irina

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    2011-01-03 21-24-17

    actually it could be a gay couple. Don't know why any of that makes a difference, hence the OP's elimination of he/she 's
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    loya

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    2011-01-04 8-34-28-

    The use of the word partner would indicate that OP is gay, which doesn't make a difference. He or she should not buy a property with someone who is fisy irresponsible
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    coffelt

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    2011-01-04 12-15-06

    No worries :) It doesn't matter if you are gay or straight, you are still in a long term relationship....
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  • langham

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    2011-01-04 23-03-08

    well it shouldn't matter either way!
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    consolo

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    2011-01-05 3-05-36-

    I personally would not buy any property with a person who could not manage money and had bad credit. if i could I'd buy the condo, and let them pay for half. but i just can't let their mistakes possible drag my own credit down. It is also a red 80399 that in 7 years there has been no improvement.
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  • fram

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    2011-01-28 22-45-59

    not bad credit but bad money management He does not have bad credit but wastes his money. He has never balanced his check book!!! ever!!! But somehow he manages to pay for bills... his past was him forgetting to pay for things but I introduced him to online bill paying so that help fix that problem...lol. I just feel that I am like the nagging mother--- and I hate this-- so not sexy!!lol. I am NOT asking for marriage or or even a ring... after 7 years of my life but I would LOVE it if he could just be mindful. But he still wastes his money on silly things or overdrafts for stupid "reasons" (aka not balancing his check book). I am just frustrated and sick of being the "helper" and hoping for some change after all of this time.
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    tiegs

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    2011-03-01 11-50-27

    yeah i would buy a condo on my own and ask for rent if i could even stand being in a LTR for so long with someone like that.
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  • livia

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    2011-07-01 4-10-13-

    Something you are going to have to accept or move on from. Not going to change core behavior like that unless the desire to change comes from within the person. Doesn't sound like that's going to happen. Weigh your options. I imagine neither choice looks good. Sorry 'bout that, but such is life sometimes. At least be thankful that your partner isn't like many and trying to hide it from you.
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  • feagan

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    2011-12-17 21-07-51

    not to put myself out there but I have had bad money management in the past. I'm known to eat tuna fish for a month if it meant I spent a week in Vegas. My car note is on time, rent is ALWAYS EARLY, car insurance paid.. But I put more value on memories and "living" then I do on having a large savings. It's worked for me and I'd hate to be judged on that..
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    schallock

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    2012-10-02 19-25-00

    But at least you'd eat tuna (kind of like saving$) to get something you'd want. He doesn't do that. BUT he isof the most kind individuals I have ever known.
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    plath

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    2013-08-13 22-12-00

    ONe of my more responsible friends envies me at times, and she tells me. I envy her dedication to finances. She envies my "lets live life and worry later" attitude. I've gotten her to go on vacation with me, which she deserves, and I've gotten her to buy that pretty top she stared at for months. She's gotten me to not spend all my money on booze and strip clubs.. LOL it's a happy medium. I personally don't worry about money and I'm happy. My girl worries about money all the time and it takes over her life.
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    cressler

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    2014-05-20 4-24-15-

    prob. b/c she has to manage your bad habits.lol Do you see how you stated "My girl worries about money all the time and it takes over her life"... yet you still continue the behavior which cause her stress and worry... what is up with that??? I am curious (not meant to offend you in any way).... because that is the root of my initial question.....of this thread.
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  • noecker

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    2014-05-20 12-37-15

    Ms. Thang, I believe was speaking of a platonic friend. :)
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    elster

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    2015-08-09 2-15-48-

    Yeah, it took me a minute...LOL!
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    policastro

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    2015-09-21 12-52-45

    LOL sorry Listen, the bottom line, is that said friend, platonic, has regrets for a lot of things.. She hates that she didn't enjoy college as much as I did (same college, we met there) because while she was getting straight A's and not being social, I was getting B's and parting it up.. I didn't even FINISH and found a job that paid me almost x/x more then she was making. I go out on vacations and she doesn't. She worries about money and I am fine. I've learned from her and she's learned from me. It's all about balancing each other out.. and we, as friends, do that, and I can imagine that as SO's the OP should be able to do that. Money doesn't rule everything. He might not have a huge savings account but AS LONG AS the bills are paid in a timely fashion and he's not owing more then he has, then life is okay. There are bigger fish to fry and money does NOT get buried with you. Thats my point of view. Might not be popular but it could be an insight to how he thinks.. that's all :-)
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