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Pages: How much to spend for an engagement ring? [1]
Author Topic: How much to spend for an engagement ring?

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2011-01-03 3-13-11-

How much to spend for an engagement ring? We're talking about marriage so I asked her what type of ring she'd like. She said to surprise her and so I was like, what, no hints? She said well it should be 2 months salary but she'd settle for $10K, since that was about (interpreted as probably a little more than) how much her best friend's ring cost. So I said maybe I can't afford to get a ring yet and she said well we don't have to do what everyone else does. Is 2 months salary really what everyone else is doing? I'm expecting a pay cut because of the economy and don't want to break the bank but then don't want the symbol of our love to be like worthless either.
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2011-01-03 21-35-30

depends Personally, I think there are better things to spend my money on then South African mine owners, but 2 months (gross) salary is what Debears pushes. Luckily, my wife was not much for market slogans.
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2011-01-04 3-46-52-

jareds... ... zales, etc, would like you to spend that much, but that's outrageous, imo. i bought my wife a 1/2 carat heart shaped solitaire for $1000 and it's beautiful. she loves it, but she's cool like that. if i had spent month's salary, that would've been $8000. no way! maybe for our 20th anniversary lol.
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2011-01-04 4-53-28-

It should be whatever you can afford. Personally, I think 2 months salary is too much. But I also don't consider a ring the symbol of our love. I didn't get a ring when we got engaged. I did get a puppy though:)
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  • strause

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    2011-01-04 23-26-46

    Spend what you feel comfortable spending. I think the months salary idea is something that the diamond industry was pushing at time. The cost of the ring is irrelevant. It is a symbol of love and commitment, not a price tag. I think you could get a lovely, tasteful ring for about quarter of what she'd "settle" for.
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    2011-01-05 4-29-26-

    You know that had actually been the price range I had in mind before I talked about it with her.
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  • maranda

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    2011-01-05 10-44-18

    I had my ring stolen a few years ago when our house was broken into. I wasn't wearing it because I was at the gym at the time. Fortunately it was insured. We got a replacement at They have this very cool setup where you select your stone(s) and setting and they make the ring you want. The quality is excellent and the prices were less than what I would have paid in the diamond district in NYC.
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    2011-02-07 23-21-36

    I just checked it out. Quite a fun site.
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    2011-03-25 3-45-14-

    They have some beautiful things. I have lots of Christmas and birthday presents from bluenile and they've all been great.
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    2011-08-24 16-45-01

    I think it is insane to spend $x,x on a ring and any woman who insists on a ring that costly is money-grubbing fool. Heck, I don't think Bill Gates spent that on Melinda's ring. Ten grand can buy you a helluva honeymoon. Or it can feed a hundred ren for a year, or buy vaccines to save ren from infectious disease. Perfectly beautiful rings can be had for under $x,x. And who says the rings have to be diamonds, other than the DeBeers Diamond cartel which made up the story about diamonds being the stone for engagements. Emeralds, rubies, sapphres, aquamarine, there are many other beautiful stones. I guess it depends on values. Happiness comes far more from experiences than from objects. If your GF is a materialist and gets her sense of self-worth from a rock, oh well. I have a sense that the length and happiness of the marriage are in inverse proportion to the cost of the ring.
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    2011-10-18 17-06-01

    ^^ Couldn't agree more.
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    2012-05-11 16-09-45

    Don't go in the red for a ring Really, that's just silly. It's a freakin sparkly mineral. I find it odd that she has a $$ amount she's requesting. I can't imagine asking for that, particularly with the economy the way it is. However, I really do love my engagement ring, and it means a lot more to me than I thought it would, so I wouldn't just do without if it's important to her too.
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    2013-03-13 17-46-58

    Here is the main problem "She said: "Well, it should be x months salary, but SHE'D SETTLE for $xK" Okay, first things first, who said x months salary? A jeweler. And why? Because they WANT YOUR MONEY. And if a woman "settles" on a ring, she isn't worth the purchase price. A woman should be happy to have the person offering the ring more than the ring itself. If she is all about the bling, toss thisback. I am not saying be cheap, I am saying be practical. I spent several hundred on my wifes ring. (It was an engagement band only) and our first year and our xth year had the "wedding" part finished because we couldn't afford it when we first got married. Its worth more now, so yay us? Its not the ring, its the woman attached to it that makes it priceless. I say run and run far from any woman that demands at least a xK ring or offers to "settle" for it. She won't be happy with you because you aren't willing to spend until it makes YOU hurt. Tell her this: Since this is the day and age of equality, you expect a ring of the same amount. Lets see her conviction to that "x month rule". Bad way to "start a life" by that nonsense. Better to bank your money than waste it on a gold digger.
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    2013-10-31 5-23-10-

    I agree but also realize ... that a woman will wear the ring hopefully for the rest of her life. So in a way you are buying her a piece of her body. So get her something she can live with. I personally can't tell the difference between a $xK, $xK, or $xK ring. And would be suspicious of someone who could at a glance.
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    2014-05-01 4-54-34-

    Doesn't matter about people seeing people as commodities--and you're MORE subject to that attitude as a single person on the market than as a married So long as you can findsuitable person who doesn't see you that way, marriage is a reasonable option.
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    2015-06-12 4-07-13-

    Exactly, Dax. She's a statusconscious golddigger if she's trotting out the "two months salary" advertiser's pap and the cost of her friend's ring as guidelines. I vote OP picks a nice $xK ring and sees if she x) can seriously tell the difference, or x) has the balls to pitch a fit and refuse him for being a "cheapskate". If the latter, he's well rid of her, because an engagement ring is only the tip of the iceberg on what he'll be expected to provide for her. If she can't tell the difference, the balance of the $x should go for furniture, the honeymoon, and/or other things they can enjoy together.
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  • ruoxin

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    2015-10-19 19-59-33

    Gah -- I HATE this question Not because of you, gsdx -- I hate that the girls get so friggin' wrapped up in the Ring Competition -- who has the biggest ring? Whose ring cost more? The more you spend on a ring, the more you love me! It's such BULLSHIT. My parents are well-off. But after x years, my mother still wears a small x/x carat diamond of iffy quality in an illusion setting that cost him $x at a pawn shop, with a small gold band for a wedding ring. It drove my father nuts for a long time. He is a man who loves to buy jewelry for my mom, and he kept wanting to buy her a "better" ring, a larger, more expensive ring. She kept refusing, so she ended up with earrings, necklaces, cocktail rings, etc. All of which look a little odd, next to her wedding rings. Finally, when I was about x or x and my father was starting another campaign to replace the ring with "something better", I commented to my mom, "Are you crazy? He WANTS to buy you a x carat ring, and you're turning him down?" She just smiled and looked down at her ring and said, "No. This is my engagement ring, this was the best he could do at the time, and every time I look at it, I remember how far we have come together." You pay what you can without going into debt. Don't get swayed by diamond marketing -- diamonds just aren't that rare, y'know? But the DeBeers cartel has kept the prices artificially high for decades. Congratulations, by the way, on your upcoming engagement!
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