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Pages: Internalized homophobia [1]
Author Topic: Internalized homophobia
lady

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2011-01-02 22-35-05

Internalized homophobia Why is it always the sweet, smart girls? Or, this is the only time I've EVER been intrigued by a psuedo-straight chick and feel like making blanket statements about all cute, smart, sparklingly brown eyed, loud, funny women. /Sigh // Its either post here or do laundry, I dont hafta get up to post
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Terrill

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2011-01-03 13-53-17

that looks like clean laundry the towel is folded
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damman

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2011-01-03 17-44-38

on a slightly related note- cheap socks suck I always have to buy athletic socks, because the others fall apart from all the NYC walking Guess it makes sense, I seem to go through so many more socks than in California /end sock rant
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scism

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2011-01-04 2-27-58-

several things firstly I can see how passionate you are about your internalized homophobia. seeing as it ranks up there with your dirty laundry. next take a look at the reasons WHY it is the, "cute, smart, sparklingly brown eyed, loud, funny women." who by the sound of your post are psuedo straight (whatever that means), that you are attracted to. then ask yourself why this is harmful and how you can turn it around.
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  • rozzi

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    2011-01-04 6-51-44-

    family dynamics can be very complex. I'm having a little trouble with your post, so I'll just re-word it to make sure I'm understanding you: You have a crush on a friend who has told you she is gay but she's decided to live a straight life in order to live up to her family's expectations - is that right? If that's the case, she is not relationship material - by her own admission. Maybe she's talking to you because she admires that you're out, and she really wants to follow her heart but she doesn't know how to deal with her family. There are millions of other people who have gone through this. Maybe you could point her to a queer positive counsellor or a PFLAG group, and remind her that she needs to live her life for her, not her parents. And as for you, get yourself out to some community events. Join a meetup.com group, volunteer, take a class. Get over this crush and meet some real dating material.
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    iglesia

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    2011-01-04 12-56-44

    finally decided to drag my laundry downstairs.. Anyways.. It's not really a crush per se, just.. I don't really know what to it. I'm not interested in her that way because I can't look past someone's inability to be true to themselves. We're in the same circle of friends and I just find her really fun to be around and think its sad that she can't enjoy this aspect of herself. Anyways, I guess I can't understand why a family would want to do that to their only . I mean, if I decided to become an axe murderer, my parents would tell me they don't approve of me killing other people, but would fully support my decision to do so and I know no matter what I do, they'll always be there for me. I've met her mom when she drove my friend and I to their house to return her car, and she could not have been nicer. She even hugged me! In any event, I just don't understand her situation and therefore can't empathize and can only offer the advice, that it is her life and she should lead it her way.. I don't know.. my brain is melting.. no A/C AGAIN! Oh, and I do go out, I'm even having my birthday party at a gay bar next weekend! Of course, this lovely brunette will not come because it's a gay bar, even though only 1 out of the 15 or so people expected to show up is gay. /sigh
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  • Kishore

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    2011-01-04 14-04-55

    oh who are you foolin? "cute, smart, sparklingly brown eyed, loud, funny" and "lovely brunette" You're crushing on her despite yourself, admit it. :) Maybe she's not giving her own parents enough credit. Maybe she's making excuses for her own fear. There is nothing you can do for her. Everyone has to come to terms with their queerness on their own terms. If she's not willing to go to a gay bar, her parent's aren't the main problem. Whatever her problem, it's hers to sort out. Have fun on your birthday!
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    mcwaters

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    2011-01-05 1-40-45-

    My laundromat is so ghetto Everything is duct taped together and there aren't even any timers on the dryers. For those of you who are from the NYC area, I just moved from the East Village to Washington Heights! W. 170's. I hate my new apartment, but its only for a month until I find a better place. Anyways, back on topic: I guess I never really wondered why she wouldn't want to go to a gay bar, I just assumed it was part of the whole parent's thing, but I guess that doesn't make much sense. My best friend also thinks that I have a crush on her, but meh, I also have a crush on Maura Tierney, Jennifer Garner and Jorja Fox, but nothing will come of that either (or will it?!) Meh.. I was supposed to meet my friend downtown a half hour ago but changed it to 6 because I didnt get up to do my laundry in time. Guess I got three hours to kill now. I should obtain food of some sort.
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    elsasser

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    2011-01-05 1-50-09-

    I need to know,...... I recently have been finding myself turned on by other women. I have no experience in this area, but really need to know if it is as wonderful as I think it would be.
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    eutsler

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    2011-01-05 10-41-47

    Only way to find out. But, y'know, women are human beings. And all human beings are different. Thus: "It" can be nice, horrible, boring etc etc depending on who's doing it with whom. Presuming by "it" you mean sex. And your type of poster usually does, in my experience.
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    stephana

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    2011-01-11 12-54-07

    Yes,....It means Sex. But I am finding myself intrigued by the whole relationship idea. Who would know better the wants and needs of a woman better than a woman? I've been married twice and have never really been satisfied by the whole thing. Always felt like something was missing.
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  • schmunk

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    2011-01-27 13-38-15

    only way to find out....
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  • riker

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    2011-02-02 9-23-07-

    You might wanta read the article Berenice links to in this thread. A few things to think about.
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    consolo

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    2011-03-05 0-04-48-

    and this too
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    beaty

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    2011-07-11 0-21-01-

    Are you married now? If you are, I would suggest coming clean with your husband about your thoughts and feelings. Then get into therapy with a gay friendly therapist and try to figure out if this is who you are. Please don't go out and just try it out. Speaking for myself, as a lesbian, I don't want to be used or played. There is so much more to who I am, than just sex. And, btw, sex can be lousy, even in lesbian relationships, if not shared with someone really special. JMHO!
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  • musser

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    2011-08-08 8-06-46-

    So go ask a woman on a date.
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