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Pages: How much contact do you have with your family? [1]
Author Topic: How much contact do you have with your family?
romans

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2011-01-03 3-38-46-

How much contact do you have with your family? Tomorrow I'm going up north to visit my parents. This will be the first time in more than a year that I've seen them face to face. Ever since I moved to toronto I've only seen them once or twice a year (for years) and I see my sister even less than that. I talk with them on the phone a few times a month.
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groseclose

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2011-01-03 19-20-35

virtually none I send my mother an Xmas Card every year but never get a reply
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  • Terrill

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    2011-01-03 22-22-21

    Haven't seen them in person for a long time Became self employed and sort of used work as an excuse not to deal with issues I have with them. I've said before back when I was little in the very early days of the AIDS epidemic when there were no medicines my mom was of the few people who was decent to of her friends who had it. I remember her sharing food with him, hugging him, hanging out with him when their other friends just didn't want to be around. Sometimes I get so caught up in our history I forget they really are nice people. Also family member has stopped drinking and I need to give them another chance instead of holding the past against them.
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    Nanni

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    2011-01-03 23-28-37

    I see my mom about once a month and we talk on the phone almost weekly. She lives about 30 miles away. My sister lives closer and has the neice and nephew, so I try to see them more often - but it actually works out to about once a month, too. We travel together on a family vacation every couple of years. I guess we're unusual to be so close, but it's been a long time in coming and I feel pretty blessed about it. When I was in an LTR, my partner was included whenever she wanted to be, although she never traveled with us.
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  • mccrimmon

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    2011-01-04 10-27-00

    It wasn't always like this^^^ and we had to work hard at it. There periods when we didn't see each other at all. We're a small family and family is important to us, so we've made it work. Didn't want to give the impression that it was all sweetness and light.
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    gargis

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    2011-01-04 16-41-49

    disowned twice My mother has been dead since 1985, but we had long weekly phone conversations and were very close. I am not allowed in my father's home (by order of his wife), and have been disowned twice by him. His sister lives close to me but has little contact with me. I am guessing that she finds it hard to reconcile her close feelings to her brother with his inappropriate behavior towards me when I was a . I am very close to adult daughter and we at least once a week and visit (Ohio to California) several times a year. I am not as close to my other daughter. I see my brother maybe once a year (Illinois to California), and we talk a few times a year. There was abuse in my family between my father and I, which makes it hard to forge clean adult relationships.
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    pabon

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    2011-01-05 4-23-34-

    Ouch! that's painful. My dad and I were estranged for over 10 years before he died and I have no contact with his wife and my halfsister. It was difficult between my sister and I when he was still alive, but after he died, things changed thankfully. She's a lot younger and wasn't there for the abuse/weirdness that he dealt out. I think it was hard for her reconcile my experience with him and hers. So sorry that's the situation with your dad.
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    giannotti

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    2011-01-05 4-44-07-

    My parents live just far enough away 2.5 hours, close enough for holidays and emergencies, far enough to not have to have lunch every week. Though it would be nice to have a babysitter handy more often. My sister and her family is halfway between us. We all get together about 10 times a year. Major holidays and a few times in between. Usually at M&D's house because they are older and it's easier for them. My gf is invited to everything but often declines as my family is hard to be around, opinionated and sarcastic. She and I would rather be at home together with the . I find myself torn between old family traditions and making new ones with my gf. I usually end up a wreck over the holidays trying to keep everyone happy.
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  • koper

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    2011-01-05 6-31-50-

    Same but different type of thing here... My family is very close. Mom and sisters are all an hour away. Daughter, bf, and new grandbaby only 20min away. Nieces and nephews scattered in between or across country (all fly in for holidays) I'm still legally tied to husband but just friends... my partner is welcomed at all family functions but she chooses not to go at times because he is also still welcome and comes to the bigger holiday celebrations because the grandbaby is there... Our family has always been the type to TRULY welcome others (not just on the surface) because we've had such a variety of people in our lives over the years (brother was gay, MTF cousin, sisters who worked with many types of disabled /adults, lot of displaced or dysfunctional friends (*ha) etc..) In fact, when someone needs a place to go for the holidays, or summer bbqs or whatever, they're always welcomed at of our houses (wherever the party may be). It can actually be a drawback at times when you just want to hang out and talk with family, but..we deal and it's all good :)
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  • macarthur

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    2011-01-05 9-30-35-

    i love my mom she is my hero! I came out to her when i was 20 and she was totally okay with it. She is such an understanding person. But my dad doesn't even know. He lives in washington...so yeah....i don't have much contact with him...i've been thinking about him alot lately and i don't know why. He is a good man, but I just have never had a relashionship with him. hummm....
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  • cordray

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    2011-01-05 10-15-03

    Every weekend I go out to the B&B sit at my foster mother's breakfast bar in her kitchen and catch up on how everyone is doing. Often or more of my sisters and brothers and their various spouses and ren will be over for a visit. While there I spend a little time with my new little foster sister and brother. I help clean up after the lasts guests have had breakfast, if I'm there in time, help in other ways if I've got energy or there is need. Generally I stay for a couple of hours. I go for special dinners when they have them, holidays when they're around, etc. They've never been to my home (I moved here last April) but generally the B&B is the place where we all congregate. They live about 12 miles away. I don't see my biological family at all, except I biological sister ... to be continued.
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  • shelp

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    2011-01-05 10-31-03

    Less and less I'm new here (been reading - lurking - for a couple of weeks), but this seemed as good as any spot to jump in. After my father passed away suddenly in 1998, my family kind of scattered. I see my mother about once or twice a year. I am very close with my sisters (one of which is gay too). I don't have much contact with aunts/uncles/cousins. It's a shame too, because my family is completely comfortable with both my sister and me being gay. My SO's have always been welcome at family functions, I just don't go - too much tension.
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  • contois

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    2011-01-05 11-51-33

    we're pretty tight but not the talk every day types. or even every week/month for that matter. but my dad did just to chat a couple of days ago and that was really nice. i get along better with the 'rents than with my sister since the of us operate in totally different social circles of the same city. we always were rather competitive . but we're definitely in (rather rare) contact. i've had to lean on the parents more than usual in recent months with my surgeries and school and stuff, and while it certainly makes me feel less than proud to need their help, it's super comforting to know they're willing to give what they can.
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  • provencher

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    2011-01-26 15-36-03

    been thinking on this a lot today. and i've come to the conclusion that i am better for having my family at the arm's length that i do. that said, i miss my siblings and nieces and nephew a whole hell of a lot. and that very well may be because my siblings and i had a rough go of things--and me being the oldest, i've always been on the lookout for them. on the other hand, my father is a horrible drug addict and has been my entire life. only once i was *old enough* to actually speak out against how things were going did i start to feel a rift forming between myself and my extended family--gma, gpa, aunts, uncles, etc. i basiy raised my brothers and my sister. i did the household chores, made them meals, got them up in the mornings/ready for bed at night, helped with homework, made school lunches...when i was 26, and the last time i have seen my grandparents was when i had to take my dad to a detox facility because my grandmother had ed me crying saying she couldn't handle it anymore. from that point on, i have come to see the *avoidance* my family seems to embrace and i don't jive well with it. and when i actually speak up to what an asshole he is to everyone, *I* am the bad guy. and that gets old. so, i see my extended fam maybe once a year--for either thanksgiving or christmas. i don't speak to them very often because gossip ensues and i don't jive with that, either. my mom i am VERY tight with. her and my sister and her live on the east coast so it's REALLY hard to get out there very often...i wish i could. it seems everyone i care the most about has moved away from that *central core* of a detrimental part of our family. i am here in OR, my youngest brother is, too, with his wife and fam. the concentration of family in NV is like a cancer. and that's kind of hard to accept. but i have realized, being so far away from them that it is better for me and for my quality of life. and the state of my mental health, too. and sometimes that makes me sad to say, but it has also been a very growth-positive experience.
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    wierman

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    2011-02-26 4-32-10-

    I IM my Dad and now they bought a webcam and I talk to my Mom on the webcam. I am much better friends with my sister since there is distance. I personally had to move away to get some perspective.
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    bobak

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    2011-06-10 13-31-29

    how old are you, bertha?
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  • stauter

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    2011-11-17 2-17-14-

    I will tell you that my parents are x and x
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    zanotti

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    2012-08-20 6-36-39-

    that's great that they use the computer... my mom once thought a microphone was a telephone, she put it to her ear and said "hello"... :x
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    veil

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    2013-02-07 7-04-35-

    My mom isn't fond of computers but whatever it takes to talk to her baby daughter :>)
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  • Deedee

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    2013-12-31 21-46-10

    that's sweet, what a trooper!! the best I could do for my mom is find a phone for her that has big numbers so she can see easily. My brother had bought my parents phones but she didn't like using them and would get my dad to always me for her because the digits were too small, now she is independant and s me whenever.... and most of the time it is *just because* :)
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  • golen

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    2015-02-06 16-08-17

    talk often with them... My parents live nearby, they visit every weekend and try to daily to say hi to grandren. My brother and I speak about once a week. But he too, lives nearby with his family. I have only a few aunts/uncles and some cousins here as well, but I do not have contact with them...maybe a couple times a year if that. The rest of my extended family is in Europe. I wish I had known my grandparents. I never met my mom's dad, did meet her momtime. I did see my dad's parents a couple of more times but that is it. My parents are alright, but sometimes they do not understand boundaries. They did not take care of their parents as they aged, nor did they have them in their life when they raised my brother and me.
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